Adam Johnson: Playing For Sunderland is STILL My Most Humiliating Regret

Former Sunderland, Middlesborough and Manchester City player Adam Johnson left the members of the courtroom completely baffled this morning, with a bizarre affirmation of guilt, humiliation and deep regret…for playing for local club Sunderland AFC.

After Judge Jonathan Rose sentenced the disgraced former England international to six years for grooming and sexual activity with a girl aged 15, the justice-server asked the 28-year-old if he’d like to say any final words.

The clearly ashamed, pale, and withered Johnson wearing Mario Balotelli’s; ‘why always me’ t-shirt, gave a timid nod and stood up to address the court in Bradford before beginning his time in Durham’s notorious Frankland Prison:

“I have let everyone who I know and truly love down, in the most shameful and embarrassing way. I don’t know how I can ever make it better, or if I’ll be able to ever heal the painful emotional wounds that I have inflicted upon my family. I mean, how is my Mam going to look people in the eye in the street and say yes, my son was that one – the one who played for Sunderland AFC.”

An astonished Mr Rose asked; “is that all you’ve got to be sorry for? You do understand the serious nature of these crimes, Mr Johnson?”

The abject former player shrugged his shoulders and replied; “aye, it’s canny bad like. But imagine playing alongside Carlos Tevez every week, then all of a sudden you’re on the same team sheet as Jozy friggin’ Altidore. I’ll never get over that, anything else is progress.”

Sunderland AFC have refused to comment.

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