Adebayor’s Witch Doctor: “Eternal Life Comes at Price of Scoring for Every London Club”

The West African nation of Togo is not famed for much internationally, but one national symbol, the country’s best known footballing export Emmanuel Adebayor, is a name that yields a certain amount of familiarity.

Best known as a lumbering target man who once went on loan to Real Madrid, the 6ft 3 in striker, is rumoured to be on the move again as of late, this time purported to be joining ex-Premier League outfit Fulham.

For fans not in the know however, this move is one most likely not made for footballing reasons, but rather for a project larger in scope and ambition.

Followers of Adebayor will remember, of course, reports coming out of Togo back in 2008, back when the forward made waves in his homeland for paying a visit to renowned shaman and witchdoctor Eric Djemba Wamba Cherno Samba.

The visit, which received television coverage on the TTC (the Togolese BBC), saw Adebayor given the promise of eternal life should he “score just one goal for every London based club.”

Lucky to have already opened his account at Arsenal, back when the footballer actually looked a half-decent prospect, Adebayor has also netted for both Tottenham Hotspur and Crystal Palace in recent years, showing a renewed commitment to a prophecy that was once deemed “old African mumbo jumbo” by the player.

This new move to Fulham, should it come off, means the 32-year-old Adebayor only has to bang in at a goal at Chelsea, West Ham, QPR, Brentford, AFC Wimbledon, Charlton, Millwall, Barnet and Leyton Orient for the elixir of life to finally be is.

Bookies have already slashed odds on the player achieving the feat to marginally more than they offered for Leicester to win the Premier League at the start of the 2015/16 season.

A desperate-sounding Arsene Wenger reported to take him back should the big man pull it off.

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