Balotelli’s No-Reserve eBay Listing Removed After No Bids

In what some Liverpool fans have bemoaned as leaving them feeling “proper devoed”  – manager Jurgen Klopp in an attempt to offload striker Mario Balotelli, has received no offers on their eBay listing for the Italian international.

Despite the listing appearing to have had “no reserve”, meaning any bid would have cemented a deal, it hasn’t appeared to have had the tantalising effect the Merseyside-based club might have hoped.

“No reserve. Plenty of shiny photos. A few signed shirts. A pack of fireworks. A wrecked Bentley. A dart and a five-fingered hat. Despite all those things thrown in? Not a single offer”, stated the club’s Chief Technology Officer.

Balotelli, once held up as one of the finest strikers in Europe following a promising start to his career at Inter, followed by a much-talked-about move to Manchester City, now joins the list of other familiar eBay products that never get sold.

“He’s right up there with the handicrafts not good enough for Etsy, smashed in refrigerators and stuffed ferrets in terms of things people never want to buy”, said one American eBay user who swiftly changed his mind from “watching” the item soon after reading about Mario’s recent career highlights on Wikipedia.

“I don’t understand a lot about football. But no goals does not a good guarantee make”, said the user, before shifting his attention to other football-related listings.

“I’ve just spotted this though” he added, after sending over a screenshot of a new listing titled ‘FOR SALE: FOOTBALLING LEGEND – NICKLAS BENDTNER (NO RESERVE)’.

Mario’s destiny remains unknown.

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