Jermaine Pennant Confirms Rumours That Footballers Are Thick as Shit

Never considered the brightest of the bunch, Jermaine Pennant has confirmed that he is either thick as shit or has far too much money, or perhaps both, after leaving completely forgetting that he owned a Porsche and left it for half a year in a car park.

Pennant was once considered a bright light of English football but he never quite lived up to the expectations which so many put on him back in his Arsenal and Liverpool playing days. Pennant left Merseyside for La Liga with Spanish outfit Real Zaragoza and after failing to make an impact there he went on loan to Stoke City and Wolves before coming back to England to play for a few non-descript clubs and then heading off to Singapore.

After his arrival back in England, Pennant received a phone call from Zaragoza officials to say that they had found a Porsche with registration plate P33NNT at a local train station car park. Spanish newspaper MARCA reports that Pennant had no clue where the vehicle had been and just regarded it as lost.

Zaragoza officials, upon breaking into the car found the keys sitting on the front seat, good work Jermaine.

Perhaps this forgetfulness was exactly why Pennant, who has just signed for Bury, never quite made it as a footballer and has regularly turned up late for training in almost every club that he has played for, gifted and thick as shit.

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