Marcus Rashford States Burning Ambition To Play For Sunderland, Shows Off Kieran Richardson Tattoo

Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford stunned the nation last night after smashing in a hat-trick in his England Under-21 debut, shortly before declaring a come-and-get-me plea to Sunderland AFC boss David Moyes.

The 18-year-old prodigy left journalists astonished when asked whether his recent form is a clear sign that he should be picked over Martial for Man United and Walcott for England, by stating his main football ambition; to follow in the footsteps of his childhood idol Kieran Richardson by sacking off the Red Devils for Wearside and becoming a forgotten man.

After proudly displaying a tattoo of the currently clubless wing-back-winger 31-year-old hybrid, Rashford spoke highly of ex-Manchester United players who’ve flocked to the north-east, seduced by promises of promiscuous vixens and a fine selection of Greggs pasties whilst sharing the occasional limelight before disappearing into the abyss.

“All this hype and being kept in the public eye is overrated and stressful, I don’t want to be another Paul Scholes – look what it did to him. He’s a right miserable c*nt now. I want to be another Gabriel Obertan. Now that’s a man that had the right idea.”

David Moyes’ spokesperson spoke positively about a possible deal confirming; “David has a proud history of making decisions that fuck Manchester United and he hopes to continue that long into his career.”

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