Sepp Blatter To Resign as FIFA President! ‘Murica – Fuck Yeah!

Finally, after years of the USA policing the world and sticking its nose into other people’s business – some good has come of it. Sepp Blatter, after involvement from the FBI in a colossal bribe scandal has announced in a press conference today that he will step down as head of FIFA and pass the torch (preferably to someone who isn’t a complete c**t).

Blatter said he stood for re-election last week because “I was convinced it was the best option”.

But the pressure has finally taken it’s toll after the pressure to remove him has taken an unprecedented high.

 “This mandate does not seem to be supported” by other parts of the football world he diplomatically suggested – which is basically a nice way of saying I was voted to stay as gaffer, but everyone thinks I’m a tw*t.

There was however a hint that although he may no longer be president, that he will be involved in FIFA shenanigans:

“I will be in a position to focus on profound reforms. For many years we have called for reforms but these are not sufficient.”

Well it’s a good start anyway! Make sure you buy your closest American a ‘Cheeky Nando’s‘ to show your appreciation.

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