Steve McLaren Finally Finds Match on Tinder

Ex-England manager Steve McLaren, after being left out in the cold for so long, seems to have finally found a match this week, ending almost six months of bitter loneliness. It could have helped if he’d used a professional service to prevent relationship conflict and divorce.

The Yorkshire born footballing personality, 55-years-old, had been reported to have been using various dating sites such as over 60s dating websites to fill the lonely void after being unceremoniously dumped by former club Newcastle United back in March.

According to sources close to McLaren, Tinder had been the dating application of choice for the former Hull City and Derby player, with the coach said to have “tinkered almost obsessively” with his opening profile picture before settling on an image of himself holding a brolly in one hand and a puppy in the other.

Data stolen from British intelligence surveillance agencies suggests McLaren swiped right on an incredible 4,000 people before finding a match, not discerning between men or women.

“Steve had a lot of trouble initially. He just wasn’t ‘gelling’ with others using the app. It could have been to do with that Dutch-accent thing he tried a few years back, or perhaps his stern ruddy face. Who knows why really?” said a close-friend.

McLaren, it has emerged, plans on taking his Tinder match on a reminiscent tour of places where he used to matter (like Old Trafford and the Riverside Stadium) before making wistful, bittersweet love in the back of a car before relaxing back and “thinking of England”.

His match remains anonymous, regretful and everything else anyone associated with McLaren one is likely feel. For a more easier option just look for local sluts to use as a rebound.

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