Wannabe Porn Star “Does It” On A Cold Rainy Night in Stoke

It’s been a popular question in footballing circles but finally, as of late last night, the world has an answer to the mythic question over whether “he” can do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke.

Amateur professional, Hugh Mungous, on the books at Scarborough, headed up to the Staffordshire-based club in an attempt to supplement his income as an unused utility man by taking part in an amateur porn shoot entitled “Hughes the Father?”.

Proving to all and sundry that ‘it’ could be done on a cold rainy night, Mungous, 28-years-old, seemed particularly unfazed taking part in the four-hour long shoot, filmed in an executive lounge at the Bet365 Stadium.

According to sources, Stoke City players Stephen Ireland and Charlie Adam had walk-on cameos, rubbing grease into Mungous’ back as he ploughed his way through the 35-page long script, while recent loan signing Wilfried Bony put his surname to work in an improvisational pizza delivery man role.

“Mungous? Yeah, he did a cracking job. Exceeded all expectations. Proved, once and for all, that anyone can do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke, all it takes is putting your mind to it. And a fair bit of a viagra”, said one contracted member of the film crew.

Stoke City manager Mark Hughes, on the other hand, has decided to distance himself from the project, despite proceeds expected to fund part of Stoke’s dealings in the January transfer market.

“He [Mungous] might be a natural in the adult film leagues but he sure as shit isn’t anything near Peter [Crouch]’s level when it comes to the performances that really matter”, countered Hughes.

DVD’s currently available at the club shop. Next to the Stephan Postma Special (who coincidentally couldn’t do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke).

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