@import url("https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=DM+Serif+Display:ital@0;1&family=IBM+Plex+Mono:ital,wght@0,400;0,500;0,600;0,700&family=Lora:ital,wght@0,400;0,500;0,600;0,700;1,400;1,500&family=DM+Sans:wght@400;500;600;700&display=swap");:root{--paper:#0a0a0a;--paper-alt:#111;--paper-raised:#161616;--ink:#f0f0f0;--ink-light:#ccc;--ink-muted:#aaa;--accent:#caff04;--red:#caff04;--red-bg:#caff0410;--cream:#f5f0e8;--border:#222;--border-light:#2a2a2a;--muted:#777;--muted-light:#555;--gary:#ff3b30;--gary-bg:#ff3b3015;--sarah:#007aff;--sarah-bg:#007aff15;--terry:#ff9500;--terry-bg:#ff950015;--mo:#af52de;--mo-bg:#af52de15;--pampete:#30d158;--pampete-bg:#30d15815;--display:"DM Serif Display",Georgia,serif;--sans:"DM Sans",-apple-system,sans-serif;--serif:"Lora",Georgia,serif;--mono:"IBM Plex Mono","Courier New",monospace;--space-xs:4px;--space-sm:8px;--space-md:16px;--space-lg:24px;--space-xl:48px;--max-width:900px;--max-width-article:680px}*,:after,:before{box-sizing:border-box;margin:0;padding:0}html{font-size:16px;-webkit-font-smoothing:antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing:grayscale}body{font-family:var(--serif);background:var(--paper);color:var(--ink);line-height:1.6}a{color:inherit;text-decoration:none}img{max-width:100%;height:auto}.container{max-width:var(--max-width)}.container,.container-article{margin:0 auto;padding:0 clamp(16px,4vw,48px)}.container-article{max-width:var(--max-width-article)}.section-label{display:flex;align-items:center;gap:12px;margin-bottom:24px}.section-label:before{content:"";width:4px;height:24px;border-radius:2px;background:var(--accent);flex-shrink:0}.section-label h2{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;color:var(--muted)}.ad-slot,.section-label h2{font-family:var(--mono);letter-spacing:.1em;text-transform:uppercase}.ad-slot{border:1.5px dashed var(--border-light);border-radius:8px;padding:16px;text-align:center;color:var(--border-light);font-size:10px;background:var(--paper-alt)}.article-body{font-family:var(--serif);font-size:18px;line-height:1.75;color:var(--ink-light)}.article-body p{margin-bottom:1.5em}.article-body h2{font-size:28px;margin:2em 0 .75em;line-height:1.2}.article-body h2,.article-body h3{font-family:var(--display);color:var(--ink)}.article-body h3{font-size:22px;margin:1.5em 0 .5em;line-height:1.3}.article-body blockquote{border-left:3px solid var(--accent);padding-left:20px;margin:1.5em 0;font-style:italic;color:var(--muted)}.article-body strong{color:var(--ink);font-weight:700}.article-body a{color:var(--accent);text-decoration:underline;text-underline-offset:2px}.satire-disclaimer{background:var(--paper-alt);border:1px solid var(--border);border-radius:8px;padding:12px 16px;font-family:var(--mono);font-size:12px;color:var(--muted);margin-bottom:32px}@keyframes fadeIn{0%{opacity:0;transform:translateY(12px)}to{opacity:1;transform:translateY(0)}}@keyframes fadeInFast{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}@keyframes marquee{0%{transform:translateX(0)}to{transform:translateX(-50%)}}.hide-scrollbar{scrollbar-width:none;-ms-overflow-style:none}.hide-scrollbar::-webkit-scrollbar{display:none}:focus-visible{outline:2px solid var(--accent);outline-offset:2px}::selection{background:var(--accent);color:#0a0a0a}