Emile Mpenza’s Erection, The Greatest Football Excuse Ever

For anyone familiar with Championship Manager back in the 90’s you will know that Belgian striker Emile Mpenza was an absolute goal machine, he thrived on the big occasions and last minute winners were something that he specialised in. Unfortunately, Championship Manager players rarely produce the same goods when it comes to the real life and Mpenza is a perfect example of that.

Emile’s brother Mbo was equally as skilled, on Champ Man, and he too failed to reach the dizzying height of success that he achieved for me on that fateful season at Charlton Athletic, lifting the Champions League and winning the Golden Boot, good times.

Emile Mpenza signed for Sven Goran Erikssen’s Manchester City where he lasted just one season before transferring to Plymouth Argyle, Mpenza made just 9 appearances in one year at Plymouth but it seems it was his excuses as to why he couldn’t play that made more of an impact than his ability. Speaking on a particularly funny excuse that Emile once knocked out, Paul Sturrock, then Plymouth manager told this story.

“I think the best one from Emile, or his advisor: God knows I was losing the will to live let alone listen to his litany of misery, came when I asked the oft-repeated question, “has anyone seen the boy Mpenza?’

‘I was told, in all seriousness, that Emile had taken Viagra the previous night and still had an erection and wouldn’t be able to take part in training.”

In all fairness to Emile, that is a cracking excuse, the last thing any manager would want his trying to conduct a training session when you main striker is running around with stott on! Being a top performer in the bedroom like Emile can be quite the task! View here for more details on how to do that.

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