Ex Liverpool Star Revealed as Katie Price’s Former F**k Friend

Media Sources in the UK have revealed the identity of the famous Mr.X that Katie Price has written about in her 385th autobiography. In the book, the huge-titted glamour model and author would only describe the man as fucking ‘like a cordless drill’. That man has now been revealed as Champions League winner, former Liverpool star John Arne Riise. The ginger superstar, famed for having a left boot that hit the ball so hard even the toughest of men would wince at the site of it heading towards them apparently chased after Katie for a while before finally banging the glamour girl, and clearly not to Jordan’s pleasure:

“Instead of handling me gently and passionately like most women want, he was like a cordless drill on a multi-speed setting! He reminded me of a red Bosch that I have in my garage. Bang … bang … bang, bang, bang. At one point I panicked, thinking, ‘Shit, if he doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to be permanently attached to the bed!,

“Mr X wasn’t having sex with me, he was having sex at me.”

Clearly the Norwegian fucks like he plays.

Apparently their ‘relationship’ fizzled out when John was spotted out with another woman and Jordan went to find someone a little more ‘caring’ in the sack, we’re assuming that Dane Bowers, the man who toed her in the pussy during the famous sex tape, wasn’t the man that she returned to.

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