Ji-Sung Park Autobiography Exposes Scholes as Autistic Madman

He’s been known not to socialise much off the pitch but new revelations, made in ex-Manchester United and South Korean legend Ji-Sung Park’s autobiography, suggest that Paul Scholes’ issues run a lot deeper than avoiding the odd post-match pint.

According to Park’s autobiography, titled ‘So Much Better than Shinji’, the Manchester United and class of ’92 legend Scholes, had an uncanny knack for counting spilled toothpicks, recalling randomly sequenced numbers from memory and screaming at inopportune moments when other players tried to embrace him both on the pitch and at the training ground.

“Everyone was on edge around him [Scholes]. He would never look you in the eye but knew where you were at all times…Eventually, to ease the awkwardness, Giggs would just lock him in the bathroom of the club bus. After that, we could all finally relax”, writes Park.

Scholes, famously known for coming out of retirement because his local casino had closed down, finally hung up his boots in 2013 after almost 500 appearances for the club.

“God knows what he’s doing now” writes Park. “I just hope whoever he’s with takes note that he’s an autistic madman capable of leathering a person just as much as he could leather a ball”.

LOLfootball called the former England midfielder, capped 66 times, for comment.

Scholes’ only reply was that [he’s] “an excellent driver“.

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