Lucas Perez Great “Desperate Panic Choice” Says Reluctant Tinder Date

 6 years, 3 months ago 0 Comments

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Arsenal’s recent transfer action might have come late in the window but, according to sources, it’s anything short of spurious.

Striker Lucas Perez, a 17.1m buy from Deportivo la Coruna, finds himself at the centre of a furore today after Gunners fans branded his buy a “desperate” and “pathetic last-minute” attempt to get sub-par players into a squad on the eve of the transfer window closing.

Coming out in his defence, a former Tinder flame, haggard and washed up, took to social media to try and silence critics of the uncapped Spaniard.

It’s also true that Lucas wasn’t my first choice”, said the former Galician tea-lady, whose ovaries are soon set to dry up forever.

But, judging by the options available, I took a chance. I swiped right.”

Perez, who scored 17 goals in 37 games last season, has refused to get embroiled in the social media exchange, allegedly turning his attentions to Adult Friend Finder instead.

Comments from the former Tinder flame expand on the encounter last February, said to have took place on the chilly docks of La Coruna in northern Spain.

I was compelled to meet Lucas after there literally being nobody else available. As it happened, he wasn’t too bad. I let him stick it in the back of my net anyway”, added the mystery woman.

Whether he does the business alongside fellow new signing Shkodran Mustafi, on the other hand, is all Arsenal fans will likely care about. Sign up to one of the many online dating sites and apps like Tinder to join the online dating world.

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