Neil Warnock Misses Out On Signing Because He’s Old AF

Deadline day is always a crazy time for clubs and managers and this ear was no different, especially as those sneaky mofos at the FA decided to put a full fixture list on deadline day which somewhat dampened Jim White’s ambitions of wa*king himself into a coma when viewing the totaliser.

Usually managers are running around like blue-arsed flies trying to make deals happen in January which will help them push for titles or avoid relegation. For some managers however it all got a bit too much and Cardiff City’s Neil Warnock ended up missing out on a signing because he’s old AF.

You see the pensioner likes to go for a little lie-down ahead of games these days and during his little nap yesterday afternoon, he missed out on the opportunity of a signing or two, waking up with a shed-load of missed calls.

“We were disappointed we didn’t get one over the line, we were very close,”

What happened Neil? Contract problems? Paperwork? Work permit issues?

“It was our fault really – we hesitated.”

Ah, not sure if the club could afford it? Struggled to cut the wage bill? Other team’s demands too high?

“At my age I need a kip in the afternoon before a game. I went to lie down yesterday and in an hour-and-a-half I counted 40 phone calls…I mean how stupid is that?”

Well yes Neil, that is pretty stupid, especially given the fact that you’re sitting 15th in the Championship table as an ex-Prem side which has managed 13 losses so far this season, but hey, at least you got your 40 winks there fella!

How much time Warnock will stay in the game remains to be seen, his antiquated methods and indeed, humour – which Steven Gerrard can attest to – makes him somewhat of a dinosaur in the game and after he was called out by Parliament for being bent last year, surely it won’t be too much longer before he hangs up his crooked managerial boots.

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