Nigerian Player Who Collapsed on Pitch “Died of Natural Causes”

 1 year, 9 months ago 0 Comments

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A coroner responsible for carrying out on autopsy on recently deceased Nigerian footballer Jo-wooka Jo-wooka Mazungo Otabugo has claimed, rather surprisingly today, that the player has died of natural causes.

Otabugo, playing for Third-tier Belgian league team FC Stella Leffe, collapsed suddenly last Saturday, after lining up to take on popular league contenders AFC Poirot.

According to club insiders it is believed that the 21-year-old Otabugo, signed from Lagos-based Without Birth Certificates United over three years ago, was actually a 72-year-old former email chain-letter copywriter.

Joining up with the Belgian outfit as a supposed 19-year-old, Otabugo, it has been revealed, did not go through the “stringent” medicals that most higher league players are pressured to do.

We had no reason to think that Jo-wooka Jo-wooka was not the person that he purported to be. For us, at least, it all added up. He had a great knowledge of 2010’s pop culture, he even had a Let’s Play YouTube account and a subscription to PewDiePie”, said one club representative.

Sadly Otabugo, who has no immediate family in Europe, will have his body repatriated to his native Africa soon.

Octogenarian best friend, Nwankwo Kanu, is expected to say a few words at the funeral.

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