Pensioner Beats Ronaldinho in Viagra-Fuelled “Keepie-Uppie” Challenge

 5 years, 29 days ago 0 Comments

ronaldinho-cropped_5w90qs9yw67b1qtbgzmtmxlvd_0

The world marvelled once as a man made a mockery of the laws of physics, nailing a ball against a cross-bar only to control it delicately on its return. But that was a long time ago. And football has seemingly moved on since.

For the footballing legend in question, some tricks are hard to live down. Recent reports coming out of Sao Paulo claim that former Paris St. Germain and Barcelona attacker Ronaldinho, now doing the rounds of care homes across the country, is making a good living in attempts to impress the toothless generations of Brazil’s past that there’s life in the old dog yet.

Shockingly however, according to an unnamed source, Ronaldinho’s latest “keepie-uppie” challenge saw the national footballing legend brought humbly to his knees following a loss to pensioner Geraldo Valquinas, 82.

Following a sponsored visit to a 200-person residential home, Ronaldinho was challenged by the retired factory worker who fancied his chances taking on the former European Champion and World Cup Winner, although with a slight modification to the rules.

“Geraldo knew his ball skills were probably not going to match that of Ronaldinho, but he did know one area in which he could claim victory”, said a member of his care team.

Thrown down the gauntlet to match him in a viagra-supported challenge as to who could hold an erection the longest, Ronaldinho, known for his womanising past, could only “keep it up” against Geraldo for a purported 3-hours.

Geraldo had him beat by a good five-hours or so”, claimed a reliable witness, before adding; “Ronaldinho exhausted every trick in the book trying to get it up and under control. It fell down every time.

Whether the Brazilian legend, capped 97 times, can bounce back from this recent defeat is now the source of much debate.

Former girlfriends say no.

sign up for email updates

Subscribe to our mailing list and get updates straight to your email inbox.

Comments

comments