Samir Carruthers Files For Court Injunction Against Stalker Steve McClaren

 6 years, 8 months ago 1 Comment

carruthers_piss

MK Dons midfielder Samir Carruthers has applied for a court injunction against recently axed Newcastle boss, Steve McClaren as the former England manager constantly harassed the disgraced footballer to arrange a day trip to tomorrow’s Cheltenham festival.

Carruthers was photographed at the festival pissing into a pint glass in a private box, which is exactly how McClaren wants to blow off some steam.

“Is there any better way to forget that you’ve been deemed too shit for one of the worst teams in the country?” Slurred McClaren, who has already kicked off his session ahead of Friday’s trip.

“I only want to be his mate. I’ve got none,” he admitted solemnly.

Carruthers came in for plenty of criticism over the pictures taken of him this week at Cheltenham. Paul Gascoigne blasted him for having to set down his pint to piss in to a glass. The former Newcastle star said a more experienced player would have been able to do that one-handed.

Such criticism hasn’t put off ‘The Wally With The Brolly,’ who sees this trip as perfectly timed.

“This was the best possible time to be handed £1million simply for no longer showing up to work. I’ve got it right before Cheltenham, where I’m guaranteed to double or triple it. There’s no way I can possibly lose.”

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This isn’t all pleasure for McClaren, who aims to get a bit of business done as well. He’s planning a visit to National League side Cheltenham, as he expects to have to drop out of the Football League in order to find himself a proper job.

A clearly agitated Carruthers bemoaned: “I just want to get on with my life. People say I’m overreacting as it’s only been two days, but he’s pretty intense. It seemed like just a funny bit of banter when he was relentlessly texting and calling. But then it started getting creepy when he’d turn up at supermarkets, the post office and pretty much everywhere I went. He really doesn’t take no for an answer.”

“The final straw was when I looked outside my window in the middle of the night and Steve was stark bollock naked, waving at me in my garden, imitating riding a horse whilst laughing hysterically.

That kind of image never leaves you.”

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