Right. Let me get this straight. England played Japan at Wembley. Without Harry Kane. And lost. And now the papers are full of breathless analysis about how England "need Kane for the World Cup."

Well blow me down. You mean to tell me that a team without its all time record goalscorer looks worse than a team with its all time record goalscorer? Someone get these analysts a Nobel Prize.

In my day, this wasn't a revelation. This was basic arithmetic. Your best player makes you better. Your best player not playing makes you worse. I learned this managing Barrow in League Two when my star midfielder got suspended for three games and we conceded nine goals in a week. Nobody wrote a 2,000 word essay about it. We all just knew.

But no. That's the problem with modern football. Everything has to be a "talking point." Everything has to be "unpacked." England lose without Kane and suddenly there are graphics and xG models and heat maps showing us what we could already see with our own eyes. They couldn't score. They looked lost. The final ball was about as accurate as me trying to park in Sainsbury's on a Saturday.

Don't get me started on the performance itself. I watched it. All of it. I want those 90 minutes back. Japan were sharp, organised, aggressive. England were none of those things. They passed it sideways like they were trying to hypnotise the opposition into falling asleep. And honestly, it nearly worked on me.

The thing that really gets me is this. Tuchel has had months to prepare for the possibility that Kane might not be available for every game. Months. The man has a coaching staff the size of a small village. He has analysts and sports scientists and probably someone whose entire job is to monitor Kane's left hamstring via satellite. And the backup plan appears to be "hope for the best."

In my day, you had a Plan B. You had a Plan C. I once played my centre half up front for six games because both my strikers were injured and the chairman wouldn't pay for a loan. We won three of them. Ugly? Absolutely. But we had a plan.

Now look, I'm not saying England can't win the World Cup. I'm saying that if they're going to rely entirely on one 32 year old man to provide all the goals, all the leadership, and all the moments of quality, then they'd better wrap him in cotton wool between now and the summer. No friendlies. No charity dinners. No stairs without a handrail. The man is precious cargo.

And here's the real worry. Kane has been carrying this team for years. Years. Through Southgate. Through the Euros. Through all of it. At some point the legs slow down. At some point the body says enough. What happens when Kane has one of those games where nothing falls for him? Who steps up? Based on what I saw against Japan, the answer is nobody.

Tuchel is supposed to be naming his 26 man squad soon. The auditions are over, apparently. Well, based on the Japan game, most of the auditions were a disaster. Half the squad looked like they were doing community service rather than competing for a World Cup place.

The really frustrating thing is that England have talent. Genuine talent. Bellingham, Saka, Foden. Individually brilliant players. But without Kane to pull it all together, to make those runs, to occupy defenders, to be the focal point, they look like a band without a lead singer. All the instruments are there but nobody knows what song they're playing.

So yes. England need Kane. Water is wet. The sky is blue. And I need a lie down.

See you at the World Cup. Bring tissues.