Right then. Let me set the scene for you. It's Sunday afternoon. Como, lovely little Como, lakeside paradise, George Clooney's back garden, are 2-0 up against the Serie A leaders. Two nil. At home. The dream is alive. The away end is quiet. Somewhere, a Como ultras is composing a celebratory poem.

And then Inter scored four goals. Four. They won 4-3. They extended their lead to nine points with six rounds remaining. And I, a woman who has devoted her life to finding patterns in football data, sat staring at my laptop like someone who'd just watched a dog solve a Rubik's cube.

So naturally, I ran the numbers. You won't like them.

Actually, the numbers say this: since 2015-16, eventual Serie A champions have come from two or more goals down to win a match precisely four times. Four times in a decade. Inter have now done it twice this season alone. Twice. In one campaign. Inzaghi's squad are operating on a frequency of chaos previously unknown to Italian football's top division, a league historically built on the sacred principle of going 1-0 up and then defending like your mortgage depends on it.

Let's zoom in further. Across Europe's top five leagues this season, there have been 11 instances of a team coming from 2-0 down to win. Inter account for 18.2% of all of them. One team. One league. Nearly a fifth of all the dramatic nonsense on the continent. For context, Manchester City, widely regarded as a relentless machine of inevitability, have managed precisely zero such comebacks this season. PSG, zero. Real Madrid, one, and they needed extra time in a cup match to manage it.

Here's where it gets properly absurd. Inter's expected points total based on first-half performances this season is 68. Their actual points total is 79. That's an 11-point gap. Eleven points conjured from the ether of second halves, substitutions, and what I can only assume is Inzaghi performing some sort of dark ritual in the dressing room at half time. For perspective, the average gap between first-half expected points and actual points for Serie A champions over the last five seasons is 3.2. Inter are running at more than triple the norm. They are, statistically speaking, a team that plays its best football exclusively after being humiliated.

And poor Como. Oh, Como. Let me spare a thought for Cesc Fàbregas, a man who once controlled midfields with the serenity of a Buddhist monk and is now managing a side that had a Champions League place in their hands for approximately 53 minutes of real time before it evaporated like morning mist off Lake Como. Their expected goals in that match, by the way, were 1.8. They scored three. They overperformed their xG by 1.2 goals and still lost. I've been doing this job for eleven years and I don't think I've ever seen a team outscore their xG by that margin and walk away with nothing. The data doesn't have a category for "cosmically unfortunate."

The broader point, and there is one if you'll indulge me, is that we've been so consumed by the Premier League title race narrative that we've entirely ignored the fact that Serie A's champions-elect are winning the league in the most statistically unhinged manner possible. This isn't dominance. This is organised mayhem. Inter are not grinding out 1-0 wins. They are losing football matches, badly, and then deciding around the 55th minute that they'd rather not.

I ran the numbers on that too, actually. Inter's average minute of the equalising goal in comeback wins this season: 61.3. Their average minute of the winning goal: 78.7. They leave it late because apparently winning comfortably is for cowards.

Nine points clear. Six matches left. The title is theirs. And the spreadsheet says they've earned it in the most chaotic way statistically possible.

Magnificent.